Demo Day- Help, help! I'm being impressed!

Apologies, apologies. I really am falling behind with this thing, but I'm catching up today. I kept it up for the better part of a year, which is more than I've ever been able to keep any kind of journal-ish thing going, so that's an accomplishment. The last few weeks have been crazy busy, and I imagine the next few will be too, but I'll try to keep up. After the birthday bash was the demo at school, then Thanksgiving, the book fair at school, assorted craziness, and another birthday gauntlet, this time for Ezio, who's apparently been renamed "Stretch." And so many new guys too! We had ex-new guy, who's thankfully become Harnisfechten, then New Guy, New New Guy, and then Sunday, New New New Guy and New New New New Guy too. They will all be renamed shortly.

DEMO DAY!
I managed to convince my principal that a demonstration of sword fighting would be a good introduction for our 5th graders to this big Global Awareness Technology Project that they'll have to do. The idea of the project is that they have to study some piece of the past and illustrate how it still impacts us today. The book fair this fall had a Medieval theme too, so it seemed a perfect excuse to do a sword demo :)

I gave the Professor a copy of the project outline, and he put together a great presentation detailing the impact of swords back in the day until today. The kids loved it- history, castles and their defense, mathematics of sword construction, the impact of and on armor, even Batman & Iron Man got mentions, along with dancing and games too. The teachers were impressed as well, and more than one mentioned how much they enjoyed the language and literary terms that came from swordplay of different sorts. I was a little bummed that I didn't get to play too, but county regs said that "staff were discouraged from participating," so I got to run the PowerPoint. Woohoo. But it was cool- he brought in the mathematics behind longsword construction, pulled in the superheroes to explain about armor's maneuverability, and had a section on girls in combat- which brought a chorus of "YES!"s from the teachers in the audience. (Weeks after, I had trivia questions about the Middle Ages during our book fair, and most of the girls remembered everything the Professor said after that point.)

After delivering the background via lecture, the Professor and the guys broke out the swords. He had the guys fight Hollywood style to get the kids all riled up with great acting and fake grunting by Mr. Piccolo, New Guy, and Riceball. Then the Professor asked if they'd like to see how a real sword fight would go. The kids erupted into cheers and hoots. The Professor took the sword, turned, vorschlag-ed Riceball, and took a bow. WHOA! echoed across the audience. It was cute. He explained then about how the fight was about ending it quickly, and the rest being a lot of "if/then" situations. Cutting demo was next, with the Professor making short work of the tatami mat, slicing and dicing every which way. Best part? One oberhau sent a chunk of tatami skittering across the floor into a chatty bunch of girls who are regular pains in the... anyway, it sent them shrieking and scattering out of the way. It was awesome. Meanwhile, New Guy was narrating- "it slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries!" The pieces that went sailing near the kids were passed around, and when the Professor mentioned that the idea of the tatami was that it was the same thickness as a human neck, more than one pair of eyes looked shocked as hands went up to throats. He spoke a bit about the importance of footwork, had the guys all line up with swords and take a passing step, then a cross step, then a shuffle step, doing a little mini-flow drill. Then he had them drop the swords and do the same thing. Then he had the guys all turn to a partner, hold hands, and do it again. Laughs galore from the little ones and nods of understanding from the adults came when they realized the steps were the same basic steps of a folk dance. It was kind of cool to see it demonstrated so simply- I know I've mentioned before how it looks like dancing when I see some fighters fight.

Clink. Clank. Clink. Eyes went wide and delighted smiles and whispers rippled through the audience when Harnessfechten walked in. I can't imagine a bigger surprise for some of these kids. Some of my kids are big into the Middle Ages anyway, and I thought Ike & Zackaria were going to have heart attacks right there in the audience, they were so excited. At every question the Professor asked, their hands shot into the air. (Zack actually apparently nailed the girl in front of him on accident, I found out later.) Harness did a brief talk on his armor, talking about different developments, the need for change based on developing weaponry, the changes it demanded in fighting, how it actually weighed less than modern soldiers carry, and more. He and the Professor did a brief demo, with the Professor unable to do much damage because of all the plate. One of the kids asked about the fauld on Harness' kit, so Riceball got to pretend to be Harness' noble steed so that the kids could see what the fauld covered while mounted.

The talk continued, with the Professor pausing now and again; here to have Mr. Piccolo do a demonstration of quarterstaff, at another point for a sword and buckler show from New Guy and Riceball, then finally for a 'real' modern battle between Riceball and the Professor. They both got geared up in gambesons and masks, grabbed the feders, and went at it. When they'd been showing off a bit before, I'd heard a couple of the girls in one class talking about how they thought Riceball was cute. When he'd been playing horse for Harness, they were all "awwww"ing. Naturally then, when the fight began they started chanting his name, "ohhhh"ing when he got trounced in the end, but cheering for him all the while. Riceball has a fanclub. Of 5th grade girls. It was kind of adorable.

Overall, the demo was a huge hit, and I heard gripes for weeks afterward that I didn't invite everyone to the assembly. (With so much history, I figured the little guys wouldn't have been able to sit through it. But they all saw Harness walking through the halls, and were envious.) I've got half a dozen kids wanting to do something about the middle ages for their Global Awareness project, had requests from at least a dozen for books on knights, and have elicited awe from most of the 5th grade that I do this stuff too. The teachers seemed to really enjoy it too, which was great. The technology teacher was fascinated by the idioms the Professor mentioned, and loved all the wordplay. One of the history teachers caught me in the hall and said "All I can say is WOW." As one of the only male teachers- who hadn't wanted to come in the first place- put it, "Help, help! I'm being impressed!"

I'd say the day was a success :D

Week 33 - Bunny Bashing

I tried to dodge it, to convince the Professor that my birthday beatings could wait until after the demo, but he didn't buy it. So he invited everyone to the 2nd Annual Great Bunny Bash for practice that week. After a brief review of the vier versetzens, I had to gear up in my new jacket (which seemed way too tight still, but which the Professor assured me would be fine) and face off against everyone in class. Boy that gambeson takes some getting used to. I felt more like a robot in that than in my homemade blue one, but at least I didn't have to fit the arm guards over it, and my gloves fit better without the too-long sleeves of my blue one. And it is rather sharp-looking. Not blue, but still.

So I geared up and faced off vs. Deadpool first in my birthday gauntlet. One minute match for each year. At least it was better than last year, when I had to fight a 3-point match for every year. I'm thinking having to split it over two weeks due to my advanced age brought about the new system. I was all for the new version. I do like the free-sparring, but I tend to get hung up on "I want to try X!," waiting for that chance, and then missing everything else. So Deadpool came first. Then Ezio (who may be renamed Groot or Stretch if the Professor has his way). We had a visitor too, but he just watched this time. Then Riceball. Then back to Deadpool. Deadpool? I'd just fought him, and we had two more guys at practice. They'd vanished though, so I cycled through the guys, then the Professor would take a turn beating me too. I got in several good shots, which was nice. I apologized several times too- I got in some not-so-nice shots on Ezio, who apparently stands at just the right height for my whip-arounds to catch him right in the.... Ya. Right there. Apologies! And again. And, again. Ugh, again too. Someone cracked me an excellent shot on my upper right arm, and another caught me across the left. Overall though, I think I was doing fairly well, though my glasses kept fogging up something fierce. Anyone know a fix for that? When I reached the halfway point, I got a rest. When I took off my mask, everyone laughed I was so red in the face. I'm sure I looked a sight, and was getting tired, but I was feeling well enough.

Clink. Clank. Clink. I was trying to de-fog my glasses when the sound registered, and I looked up to see Harnisfechten clanking his way over- in full gear. The Professor gave a two minute crash course on how to fight a tin can, and sent me back in. Harnis's kit is lovely, and so very cool. I admit I geeked out a bit- I've never seen much armor beyond peeking at Bill's at IGX. I was admiring the armor when suddenly it registered that I was supposed to fight that. And I didn't have a can opener. And I kinda hadn't really been listening well when the Professor was explaining. So when the minute began, there in uffish thought I stood, contemplating my options- of which there weren't many. The Professor said to get his arms up, but that required lifting mine. Given that my jacket was still tight enough in the shoulders to prohibit that and that my arms felt like jello anyway, that wasn't happening. I tried though. I got in a lovely solid nothing against the side of Harnis's neck, and another against the shoulder. He kindly gave me tips on his field of vision and showed me the weak places in the armor, but it didn't help much.

Totally different mindset fighting a guy in armor- it was fascinatingly, annoyingly, frustratingly fruitless, that match. The other guys cycled back in, adding in New Guy and another round with Harniss. Someone caught me a magnificent blow to the shoulder, and Deadpool (I think) had a fabulous thrust that caught me right in the face. Up against Harnis again, I had more useless shots that landed with resounding failure on the plate. The Professor yelled out something about aiming for the chain, but I couldn't see well enough to even tell where that was. Stupid foggy glasses really do become a problem, and it was getting dark too, so I probably shouldn't really claim any skill was involved. But I finally managed to land one good, solid shot vs. Harnis. I was getting tired, and was feeling useless against the armor. The attacks from above weren't doing squat since I couldn't raise my arms with the stiff gambeson, so I figured I'd try from below- a streichen that did indeed bypass the plate armor... only to remind Harnis that he should've been wearing ALL his protection. At my apology for that one, the Professor took his sword and whacked me with a "STOP APOLOGIZING!" Ack! Sorry.

The fighting went on. And on. And on. It's kind of all blurred together into one big fog- or maybe that was just my glasses. Thirty nine minutes of fighting, with a break for the introduction of harnisfechten and another at one point for something or another. The last fight finally came, and they gave me the option for counted blows. "SURE!" I said. Ya, I definitely was not thinking clearly at that point. I'm getting tired, it's dark, and I can't see... please let's do the one where we hit each other as much as possible. The Professor was my last opponent. I scored a hit that knocked the occiptal protector off his mask. Then there were... many hits. Mostly his. A rather stellar thrust to the face. Then he paused, and I hit back some, worn out and not caring to the point I just kept throwing shots, whatever I could get. A few final thwacks from him and it was over. And there was much rejoicing.

I'd made it! I hadn't gotten hit too much, and I was still upright and functional. I wasn't completely exhausted either, which was a bonus. More stamina than the guys half my age who did their birthday gauntlets a few months ago, YES! Oh frabjous day! Callooh! callay! Yay for the old lady. lol. It took a minute to peel myself out of the jacket, and I have to admit that by the end, I have no idea if it had loosened up or not, but I'd quit caring, so I guess that was good. We moved on to cutting after that, trying out the tatamis for the first time. They feel VERY different than the pool noodles. On one hand, so much easier! They actually hold still for you to cut, which is nice. And they're solid, so that you get that "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" feeling. I mean, you could. If you were that sort. Not that I get that way very often. I mean, they don't give or bend over like the pool noodles. On the other hand, if you are the least bit off, you know exactly when it goes funny, and you can see it in the cut and when your sword stops its forward momentum. It's really neat though. There's just something really satisfying about sending those things flying. And if I'm mumbling "the vorpal blade went snicker-snack" when I'm slicing and dicing, who's to know?

I may have been at that 'stop moving and I'll fall asleep' stage afterward, so I tried to keep myself busy putting equipment away and throwing stuff into the truck for the demo at school the next day. Somehow while I was doing that, the Professor and his sneaky family set up a surprise in the garage for me- in like the thirty seconds between trips to the car. When I went in for the next load of stuff, everyone was there with birthday wishes and cake and pizza... it was wonderful. I admit I got a bit misty- I haven't had a birthday cake in years. Pizza, hugs, friends, the puppies there to celebrate too. Lots of Deadpools and lovely decorations, and my very own fechtbuch from the Professor! I'm officially allowed to take notes during class now :D

A few days later, the bruises showed up- only got nailed four times, which isn't too bad at all for so much fighting. A few of those were in the arms, which means I've got to guard better- but at least they were on both sides, so apparently I'm not favoring one of the other any more. One nasty bruise showed up on my shoulder, but I couldn't tell you who put it there. And I had matching waffle marks on my forehead (NOT devil horns, Professor!) from where I got caught with thrusts to the mask. The Professor told me I had done well overall, especially as I got tired. Apparently when I get worn out, my technique improves. When I stop thinking, I do better. And I also forget to say "sorry" when I hit someone, which he says is a good thing. And I stop pausing after each shot, following with second intent, or third or more. So what does all that mean for my fencing? I'm not entirely sure, but I think it means I need to start sleep-fighting. So next event, if you see someone sleepwalking down the hall with a sword in hand, just nudge her back to bed. That'll be me, just psyching myself up for the next match.