Week 16 - An Eventful Weekend

I didn’t get dead!

That's what I told my mother, when she asked how Short Point went. She was very proud. Actually, I think it was more just resigned, but I'm putting my own spin on it. Unfortunately, I didn't get my gambeson finished- it killed my sewing machine, so currently it has only one sleeve, which is really comfy but not so good on the protection front- so I didn't end up actually fighting much. I'll have to do the rest by hand, so it'll be even slower. I did get to play a few rounds with the saber, but that's about it. I did get cracked across the knuckles, learned a ton from listening to others and watching some truly awesome fencers, and even took a few classes. Cripes, it was so totally fun!

But here's the thing... when kids see me outside of school, I always get one of two reactions- either I find I suddenly have a spider monkey clinging to my leg as some kid wraps his arms around me for a hug, or he stares like I’m a wildebeest escaped from the zoo, with this look on his face like he's mystified as to why they'd let me out. That's kind of how I felt at the event. For the first part of the day, I was sort of clinging to the folks I knew, hiding amongst the familiar. It's what bunnies do, right? Eventually though, the nerves calmed down enough I could explore a bit and really enjoy just learning. Then later in the day, watching all these amazing fighters doing moves I knew but couldn't for the life of me reconcile with the slow, deliberate strikes I try to make during practice, I kinda wondered why they had let me out of the zoo at all. But hey, at least the shirts came out well!

First up was the familiar. Classes. I like classes. They're familiar and comforting and I really wanted to take notes, but that's hard to do with a sword in your hand. Our first instructor was Bill, whom I'd met when we first came in. It’s always nice to hear your teacher’s words come from someone else, which is a lot of what happened with Bill, who disappointingly did not have purple pants or a green rage face as was suggested on Facebook, but who seemed terribly sweet and was a very patient instructor. Point control was a big focus for his class, along with proper body and hand alignment and controlling your center. He talked about strikes that could come from the various guards, and what to do about them, and went on to talk about hand shots as well, which we haven't addressed much yet with the Professor. He also made a big point of learning whenever you can, in whatever way works for you. Mostly though, a lot of it reinforced what we've been learning with the Professor, so that was cool. And Bill does have a very lovely blue truck, which I must say is the best kind of vehicle to have. No bias or anything intended. The fact that I also have a pretty blue truck is pure coincidence. I may have to see if I can zwerchau! my license plate- you can get eight letters in Carolina :D

The Professor was teaching a class for the second round, so I started heading over to join him- but then gave myself a mental kick in the tail. TRY SOMETHING NEW. So I veered off to the right to where Mr. Montante, who I keep wanting to call John but whose name I'm pretty sure is actually James, was ever-so-impressively wielding that enormous sword like it was a toy. He could totally bring the image of that ginormous whirling blade of death slicing through foes in battle to mind, and yet was so entirely graceful doing it that it seemed almost a dance. He handed me a giant wooden version and I took my spot to listen as he explained a bit of the history behind the two-handed Iberian deathbringer. He showed us a few manouevers with them, and I’m sure he was despairing as I attempted to wield that thing without knocking myself over, but was patient with my ineptness. In my defense, I couldn’t hear worth spit- I have a tough time on the best of days, and in a gym packed with excited fighters and so many other interesting things going on, I was lucky to pick up every third word or so. It was fascinating though, so I looked up more montante stuff when I got home, and found a translation with more info: Figueiredo_Montante_Translation. Of course that means now I've got a mess of Portuguese words flitting around with the German and the odd Italian, but it'll be interesting seeing which stick in my head.

My kids at school know that I rot with names, and I’m still struggling to remember some of them after three years. I do remember a few names from ShortPoint though, and think I could actually put faces with them if I see them again. Bill, of course, and Charles, and Eric and Tyler. James/Mr. Montante, Jess, Chris, otherJake too… those I’ll be able to place again I’m sure. There's even more that I might recognize by what they wore though- I’m thinking the socks make for great identifiers too. There’s a whole wealth of opportunity there! I’m envisioning a line of HEMA socks as unique as the painted masks. (I do want to do that too- watching people fence all day showed me that faces can give a lot away.) I'm also thinking that I’m kinda glad I didn’t have the HEMA pants or wear my sweats, because if I’d had my pants hiked up to my knees, everyone would’ve seen the purple bunny rabbits I was sporting on my socks. Or maybe it was pink panthers. Or owls. Hmm... I may need to invest in normal socks.

It was also fun seeing and playing with other people's stuff. I've decided that now I need a feder, but can't decide which I like best. The Professor has Ensifers, and I do like those but they seem to rip up my hands- something about the shape of the grip is just not comfy. I saw a few folks with Regenyeis, which looked nice but seemed awfully bendy, though they did have nicer-shaped grips. I've been eyeing the one from Darksword Armory too. And a Pavel Moc. And an Albion...

Overall, the whole thing was tons of fun, really well run, and the ShorterPoint practice on Monday was great too. Despite the fact that I thought I was going to pass out and die during the warm-ups, I actually picked up a few exercises that I'm going to try and use on my own. Not those Polish sit-ups though. Those looked evil. Either way though, it's nice to know there's another school nearby. It's way closer to my house, actually. We had more fun there too, watching awesome fighters, getting in another game with sabers, and doing a lot of helping people into and out of gear. I took tons of pictures and videos too. I think we all had a blast visiting otherJake's studio.

My only regret is that I never got brave enough to ask anyone else to dance, at either Short or Shorter Points. On the up side though, I didn’t score too many new bruises either.

One last thing, that I find odd but really kind of sweet. Maybe it has something to do with spending most of their time together trying to kill each other, but HEMA folk are the huggiest bunch of people I’ve ever met… and I work with kids. Craziness.

Week 15 - The Short Point of all this...

Not much time for postings this week. It's Short Point this weekend! My first event. I'm excited and scared stupid and I don't even think I'm going to get to play anyway because my stupid jacket's not done. But I packed up my gear, and made some shirts, baked a couple dozen cookies, and am frantically trying to finish my gambeson so that playing with pointy sticks this weekend is at least an option.

So instead I wrote a story, because I was entirely too busy at work today and needed something else to think about. Or maybe I just have way too many kids' books memorized. Probably this should've been the very first post so the name of this blog made more sense, but whatever.

If You Give a Bunny a Longsword
(with apologies to Laura Numeroff)

If you give a bunny a longsword,

     she's going to want to play with it.

When you let her use the sword,

     she'll probably ask for lessons.

You'll have to teach her. 

Then she'll want feedback, 

     to make sure she's doing it right.

When she gets her feedback, 

     she might notice she needs to work on some things.

So she'll ask to borrow your gloves.

When she's tried them out,

     she's going to want her own.

So she'll buy some. 

She might get carried away and another pair of gloves, and a mask.

She might even end up wanting a new jacket.

When she's done, 

     she'll probably be broke and will need a nap.

You'll have to fix up a little bed for her,
     or at least give her a blanket and a pillow.

 

She'll crawl in,

     make herself comfortable, and fluff the pillow a few times. 

Then she'll ask you to read her from the manuals. 

So you'll read to her from one of your books,

     and she'll ask you to do the accents. 

When she looks at the pictures of armor,

     she'll get so excited she'll want to make a gambeson of her own.

So she'll get out her fabric and scissors.

She'll cut out the pattern. She'll grumble and curse a lot.

When the gambeson is finished, 

     she'll want to try it out

     against a feder.

Then she'll want you to hit her with it,

which means she'll need her gloves.

She'll try on her gambeson

and go outside to test it.

Wearing the gambeson will remind her

that she's still just learning.

So...

she's going to want more lessons.

And chances are if she asks for more lessons,

she's going to want another sword to go with them.

 

 

Week 14 - There & Back Again

More zorn orts this time. Some of these German words are just fun to say. Zornhau. Krumphau. ZwerchHAU! But this time was peasant strikes galore, and we were told that knowing where and when to use them is the important thing. Attacking swords, winding around, all fun stuff. We've done it before, but the practice is good. I find I can wind perfectly well until called on to do it with an audience, and then I forget entirely how it's done. Still we all need to work on point control, though it's hard to judge really when you're freezing. It was snow all around and we were practicing on the driveway since it was clear. But the air was still cold, and my glasses kept fogging up. I decided to take them off since I couldn't really see, but couldn't see much better without them either. I need to learn Hermione's impervius spell.

COMMUNICATION. It's kind of a biggie. Clear expectations make a world of difference, and can prevent a whole lot of pain later on. We'd moved on, were practicing thrusts and absetzens, and I had a thought and asked if you could use the durchwechseln to slip around the absetzen. Professor said to come at him, so I came in just like I had been before, when he'd apparently been expecting me to try the durchwechseln , and I ended up poking him in the forehead with my thrust or absetzen or whatever it was instead. Then got yelled at for not doing as I'd said I was going to. I'd never said I was doing it, just asked if you could. The "sorry" slipped out, and when I tried to explain I hadn't realized I was supposed to do the one, I had to keep repeating myself because I was getting lectured about doing what I'd said I'd do or it made others unsafe. Meanwhile, I was getting more and more frustrated because I hadn't known I was supposed to do something different, and I could feel a lump rising up in my throat and my eyes starting to burn. Holy Hell, tears?! As a rule, I don't cry. I managed to hold it back, but cripes, that was a weird new thing. And I think my voice broke when I tried to explain the last time, but whatever. Thankfully one of the others shouted out something about communicating too, so at least I wasn't alone in not understanding. For certain I'll be absolutely certain about what I'm supposed to do, about what's allowed, before I do anything from here on out.

We moved inside for cutting practice, which is always fun. We use pool noodles for practice- tried beach mats but they were a bit weird. Anyway, I think I did an oberhau strike for mine. That one seems easiest for me to keep my blade alignment good and to get the right angle of attack. And WOOHOO- I got a clean cut on my first shot! I quit while I was ahead, handed of the sword, and swiped the chopped off bit of noodle. I think purple may be lucky for me. I shall try and be sure that all my pool noodles are purple from here on out. I'll talk to Mitch at the pool store and see if he can hook me up.

Then the Professor went to get his Albion, so we could all get a chance to feel what an actual strike feels like with steel on steel. It's so very not like the feders! There's no sliding, no slipping. It had a weird, catchy bite-y feel instead, kinda like sharpening a kitchen knife. And my uncertainty crept in, my fear of actually hurting someone. Apparently I turned my blade when trying to thrust at the Professor, though I swear I totally didn't mean to, and in my attempt not to really skewer him... I... I... chipped the Albion. :( Please don't stone me! My Cold Steel got it too, though not nearly as badly. So now we get to learn all about the art of sword sharpening. I'm picking up a sander/grinder sometime this week. If the snow melts anytime soon.

Really though, I think I learned more usefulness this time after practice, when just discussing what we'd done earlier. After the hour of research into how to fix a chinked up Albion, anyway. I really didn't know what I'd done that resulted in the nicks, so asked for explanations. That's when the Professor finally (hopefully) got through and nailed the problem. I don't like hurting people. In any way. So the idea of stabbing someone with a large pointy stick, or smacking them with a steel bar, or even clocking them with a nylon sword raises weird mental conflicts in me. But then he had me hold out my hands, and we played the game "Slaps"- you know, that one where you try and smack the other person's hand before they can pull it away? You know you're going to get hit, but it's not going to hurt. If he was wearing a gauntlet, would I play? Um, no. If both of us were? Then yes. You go in knowing you're going to get whacked, expecting it- and protected. Same for the swords. I think it'll help, remembering that. I guess we'll see next practice. Way to differentiate, Professor! I think part of the problem also comes in that I'm still really uncertain about things. I mean, I can have it down solid practicing at home, be able to explain it to someone else, whatever, but when it comes to actually putting the moves into practice, I get all flustered. I second guess myself. A lot. That part I really have to work on.

The other useful revelation afterward was that we're not fighting in high heels. That apparently was the fairy-foot problem. I hadn't quite understood until then that whenever I was pivoting, I put the ball of my foot down first, almost as if I were wearing heels. I do love my heels, and have quite a collection, but ya, they're probably not the best for sword fighting. The Professor explained that the foot should move with the sword, that the heel should hit and stomp down at full extension, that you should 'activate' your hips to add power to your swing. Mostly though, toes don't go down first. If I can remember that, I might be ok.

Lastly, we reiterated what I'd learned on Friday. A strike shouldn't end at the point of contact. We do it all the time in practice- try a swing and then stop when it hits. I'm not sure if we're just surprised when we land one, if it's to pause and try and remember what comes next, or what, but we do it a lot. Apparently that's quite a bad habit. The strike shouldn't end with the hit, it should land, then snap back into a guard. You go there, and back again. Makes perfect sense when you put it that way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play with my pool noodles.

Indes - Tossing Pigs Out Windows

On Friday, I'd gone over to see the stage combat review that the Professor had put together with his high school kids. They did a great job, though I think they were more than a little nervous. I was trying really hard not to be envious- I think they're doing much better than I am. But then I remembered they've had three times the practices and don't actually get to hit people, and I feel a little better.

After the play, we talked a bit about the performance, and somehow got on to vocabulary for the different plays. As we were talking, it came out that though we study Lichtenauer, the Professor's been teaching us the terms he thinks we'll remember best for each maneuver. Some of them are strictly the German translations like I used to make up my stories. Sometimes though, he tells us the German word, but adds on the Italian translations- like for "nebenhut," for example. In German, it's the 'near guard,' which makes sense, but isn't terribly descriptive. So he tells us it's also tail, if you go by the Italian term posta di coda, which is the same move, just a few countries north. So we all learned 'tail,' and that's what we call the position where you've got your sword trailing behind, looking for all the world like a tail. Well, like a tail that could whip around and slice off the protruding bits of someone's anatomy, but still. 

From there, we move on to other Italian translations of the proper German positions. (totally teasing, by the way- that's just for the "dirty Fiorists," as the Professor calls them ;-) ). The German ox position, ochs, can be transposed with the Italian posta di finerstra, which translates to the window guard. I should've been able to guess that one, because my favorite word, which I teach all my kids at school, is defenestrate- to throw someone out a window. Fenestre-window... I should've made the leap. Anyway, that's one where I think the ochs makes more sense- ox horns I can see in a position where you hold the sword up by your ear. I'm not quite sure why I'd be guarding windows. Or is it the position you'd have to hold your sword in to stab it out some tiny castle window in order to actually hit someone? No idea. Then we went on to how the German alber, fool, is the same as the Italian dente al cinghiara, or boar's tooth. Fool was always a bit confusing to me, but that boar's tooth thing makes sense- boars have tusks facing out and their heads are down, and when they attack, they pretty much just thrust their faces forward and up to do their slicing and dicing- makes perfect sense then for a position in which your sword tip is aimed at the ground.

As we're talking, and practicing the positions without any swords or yardsticks or anything, the Professor reminded me that those guards aren't supposed to be static positions anyway, that every one is the starting point for an attack, or the ending point for one. You may start in vom tag, but a zorn later you should end in some kind of pflug. Start off in alber, unterhau, and maybe end in ochs. And then my internal translator kicks in and starts interpreting the plays... so now all I can think of is this: if the Italian version of alber is a pig's tooth, and the Italian ochs is a window, then really, all you're doing is tossing a pig out the window. So now it finally sinks in- each strike should end in a guard. And all I had to do to remember it was to wait... until pigs fly.