So instead I wrote a story, because I was entirely too busy at work today and needed something else to think about. Or maybe I just have way too many kids' books memorized. Probably this should've been the very first post so the name of this blog made more sense, but whatever.
If You Give a Bunny a Longsword
(with apologies to Laura Numeroff)
If you give a bunny a longsword,
she's going to want to play with it.
When you let her use the sword,
she'll probably ask for lessons.
You'll have to teach her.
Then she'll want feedback,
to make sure she's doing it right.
When she gets her feedback,
she might notice she needs to work on some things.
So she'll ask to borrow your gloves.
When she's tried them out,
she's going to want her own.
So she'll buy some.
She might get carried away and another pair of gloves, and a mask.
She might even end up wanting a new jacket.
When she's done,
she'll probably be broke and will need a nap.
You'll have to fix up a little bed for her,
or at least give her a blanket and a pillow.
or at least give her a blanket and a pillow.
She'll crawl in,
make herself comfortable, and fluff the pillow a few times.
Then she'll ask you to read her from the manuals.
So you'll read to her from one of your books,
and she'll ask you to do the accents.
When she looks at the pictures of armor,
she'll get so excited she'll want to make a gambeson of her own.
So she'll get out her fabric and scissors.
She'll cut out the pattern. She'll grumble and curse a lot.
When the gambeson is finished,
she'll want to try it out
against a feder.
Then she'll want you to hit her with it,
which means she'll need her gloves.
She'll try on her gambeson
and go outside to test it.
Wearing the gambeson will remind her
that she's still just learning.
So...
she's going to want more lessons.
And chances are if she asks for more lessons,
she's going to want another sword to go with them.
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