Generally speaking, my Pavel, who still needs a name, is the perfect size for most practicing, even inside. But then there's my new beauty. She's a Chlebowski feder, lovely and slim, but still curvy and heavy in the hand. Slightly shorter than Pavel and much lighter, she handles like a dream. I brought her to class, and several of the new guys really took to her. I think she might be getting some cousins soon, the way they were sizing her up. One of the New Kids seems to like her too, as she keeps disappearing before I can grab her when we're getting ready to drill during practice. I can't blame him- the balance is awesome, and she feels much better to me than the Ensifers the Professor had. (Though the new Ensifer long is very nice too, and it came in blue, which has me a bit envious.) I think I've come to favor the waisted grip, and she feels very much like the Pavel.
After this past weekend though, I may have become a convert. Apparently, I have a touch of the size queen in me. The Professor got a new toy for us at practice this week: a new montante blunt. She's gorgeous- taller than me, a lot thinner, and far deadlier. I should be jealous probably, but if I could ever manage to tame her, we could beat the stuffing out of anyone. Mr. Montante & his Ninja Turtle pal delivered her and guest-taught the class this week. It's always fascinating listening to people talking about things that excite them, and you can hear the love for the art in every word that the guys spoke. Most of the words themselves were just flying past my head, names of Italians and Spaniards and tons of other terms that just whizzed past me ears making funny buzzing sounds, but Mr. Montante's enthusiasm was palpable as he taught us about fending off more than one attacker.
It was really neat actually- we learned new footwork (sort of) of three different varieties, and we learned circle cuts, which are essential for getting people to back the heck off so you can smite them properly when wielding the gigantic whirling blade of death. We learned about stable turns, passing in reverse, and cross steps, as used vs. multiple opponents, keeping yourself protected the whole time. But much like the opposite of what happens when I take the truck to the garage and the mechanic finds nothing wrong, I could do the turns and cuts fine on my own when nobody was watching, but the second I had to do it in front of everyone, it all fell apart. This time I think it was the Ninja Turtle that was despairing of me, though he was patient and tried to walk me through the steps and turns. I go too fast, swing too far, and don't get my arms up high enough for the circle cut to be effective. You're supposed to have your sword covering your back when you circle, but I can't seem to get the sword angle vertical enough. Sadly, I absolutely don't have room in the house to practice the circle cuts, so have to wait until the weather's better before I get to try that one again.
We even got to put the multiple opponents thing to work at the end of class with a battle royale melee and a game called Thermopylae. The battle royale showed everyone just how different you have to think vs. more than one opponent- people were getting poked left and right, and nobody lasted very long. Ezio especially was catching folks with their backs turned and stabbing them right in the tush. Harness was waiting until people were distracted, then would catch them off guard, which seemed to work pretty well. Some of the new guys were seeming to forget about there being more than one opponent, though they did well too. The Professor played the last round and managed to trounce everyone of course, but it was fun to watch. For the last game, half the folks were Spartans, half were playing Persian, and one set had to try and fend off the others. Once we 'died' we were resurrected for the other side. Lack of equipment had me sitting out the first part, but I found a lone arming sword simulator that someone had brought and managed to get into the last few games. We were on the defending end twice, which I guess made us the Spartans. After we were slaughtered the first time, the Professor coached us a bit and had us try a rotating triangle defense. I'm not sure that worked much better, but somehow I managed to survive- probably because I was to the side back of the rotation. I'd thought I was out, but the Professor said it was an incidental contact.My fellow Spartans headed over to join the Persian army. So somehow only I was left to defend Greece.
The cheese stood alone... a feta worse than death for one who lacked all confidence in her swordly skills. I looked down at my pathetic little one-handed arming sword, then at the mad Persian forces bearing down on me. I remembered Mr. Montante's teaching about the circle cuts and gave it a whirl, my blade ripping through the air, laying waste to all before me, scattering foes like grain! I gave a fearsome growl, and determined I would not apologize! Sparta would prevail!
Well... that's the way it went in my mind, anyway. Kinda not what happened, really. I got crushed. My growl of fury was more of a squeak. I tagged maybe two guys with sad little slices. Nothing really got wasted. Sadly, an arming sword is not a montante. It's not nearly so intimidating, and only makes stupid tiny ringlets of minor ouchiness, not lovely giant circles of death and destruction. And with all the other swords crashing in on me, I think I actually hit myself with it. Besides, we already knew how that story was going to end. But hey, what did he expect? I'm Irish, not Greek.
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