Week 4 - Krumphau: The Wheels on the Bus...

The wheels on the bus go round and round… 

It’s become the theme of our practice combat, and my sparring partner and I break into the stupid song at random while we practice. It's like we’re caught in some weird, violent ritual inspired by preschool nightmares: "The wheels on the bus go THWACK krumphau..." We're learning the Krumphau today, which has nothing at all to do with crullers, I’m sorry to say. I can't even keep track of whether I'm the one krumping or hau I'm supposed to know which position to return to. I know I'm I’m not moving my hands right though, and Jake keeps telling me to “Drive the bus!” Riiight. I grind my teeth and mutter softly under my breath, "yes, Professor."

I think this man needs a glimpse into my day. I hate that stupid bus song. Preschool is on the same hallway as my library, and I hear it all day long. I have never been behind the wheel of the bus. I have never wanted to drive a bus. I actively try to avoid getting near the school buses at dismissal time. That is way too much responsibility for me, and frankly, I’m not that good a driver. In fact, I should be like the pigeon, and nobody should ever allow me behind the wheel of a bus. My bus would probably just crash, which seems to be what my sword is doing. Ever patient, Jake walks from one side to the other, having me follow him with my sword until I get the idea. What he doesn't realize is that I'm wondering if I could actually poke him with my sword and get out of reach before he could get in an afterblow. But he calmly continues pacing around behind me, back and forth, until I catch on and get my krumphau down. While he’s there. The minute he leaves, I swear everything falls out of my head and my sword starts crashing my bus again. My sparring partner is too nice to comment, but I’d swear I heard him start humming under his breath- “the wheels on the bus go round and round…”

Oh, and bonus! Apparently on your birthday, you get to engage in one fight for every year you've been alive! Woohoo! And the last is with the professor himself. Lucky girl today had 18 matches to fight. Come November, I will have... many, many more than that. So... in the event that I manage to keep writing for another month or so and then these little postings suddenly stop, you'll know why. 

Just in case, I like daisies. They'll look nice for my funeral.