Week 6 - Buckle Down

I got my first bruises today! Is it odd to be excited about that? Oh cripes, I hurt.

I ended up being late to practice. I'd been sitting at a stoplight waiting to get on the highway when I noticed the car next to me was slowly moving backwards. The driver was older but looked alert and was staring straight ahead, so I kept thinking "surely he's going to stop?" "Doesn't he notice the stoplight getting further away?" He's going to stop." "He'd better stop now..." He did not stop. Ended up plowing into the guy behind him with a loud crunchy sound. The fellow had a new car and so was extra grouchy about being hit. I stopped to be sure the driver guy was ok and ended up giving a report, because grouchy guy insisted on police intervention. That's when I also discovered that some folk look at you a bit weirdly when they see a sword sitting on the seat next to you. Or maybe it's just that there were half a dozen children's books and a stuffed red panda backpack sitting on the seat with it. Either way, I got raised eyebrows from the cop. And cranky guy backed away from my truck.

But it was a gorgeous day, so at least the waiting around wasn't too bad. And the rest of the drive out to practice was lovely too, which helps to make up for the obscenely long drive. I'm keeping a running wildlife count of critters that I see on the way up and the way back. I'm up to two foxes, two groundhogs, a 'possum, eighteen deer, a rabbit, countless squirrels (though usually just in my neighborhood), and what I'm pretty sure was a coyote, though I didn't think they were this far out. That's just live critters. If I count dead ones too, add in at least a dozen more deer, half a dozen raccoons, another fox, a cat, some squirrels and two 'possums.

I got to practice late. I was halfway there when I realized that the bag with my mask and gloves was still sitting on the dining room table. The cat had climbed in it while I was loading up the car and I remember thinking I'd go back for it and lure her out. Ya, that didn't happen. And now there is cat hair in my mask. Regardless, I didn't have it, so there wasn't much to unload when I got to practice. I set my sword on the table and wandered over to join the program already in progress. Jake told me to warm up, and that's when I realized I had a big problem...

So I mentioned my 'penance' yesterday. Well apparently, according to the Professor, the reason my wrists hurt was I'd been doing my zwerchaus all wrong. Actually, I had started off doing them correctly, using my whole arms, but after 313 or 584 or 723 or something, I started getting lazy and my form slipped so I just ended up flipping my wrists. Bad Bunny! Since I found out I'd done them wrong though, I decided I'd fix it, go back and do them the right way. So really, I ended up doing 2,000 stupid zwerchaus, all to the tune "It's a Small World," because it's the most heinous ear-worm ever and takes days to get that horrid song out of your head. "It's..." whoosh "a small world..." whoosh "after all..." whoosh. At least the little sword winds sounded cool. It helped to imagine lopping the heads off all the creepy little dolls in that "Small World" ride at Disney too. *shudder* I hate dolls.

Anyway, so when I tried to warm up, I realized that I couldn't raise my arms above my chest. Well, I could, but it hurt. Kind of a lot. I think I must've let out a few whimpers, because as I was trying to stretch out my arms, one of the guys (I have to see about getting permission to use names) kept asking if I was ok. NO. I definitely was not ok. Like I could admit that though. So I was all, "I'm good. Just sore." I'm not a good actor though. I then proceeded to hug myself for the next ten minutes, stretching my upper arms, poking at my puny, protesting muscles, trying to get them to unknot themselves enough that I could lift a sword without wincing or whimpering again. ZwerchOWs indeed.

But we got to play a new game today! Sword and buckler. Lots of fun, but I totally sucked at it. Only part of it I could attribute to having to do it with the wrong hand. Aside from the fact that holding a new, smaller sword in my off hand felt awkward (why couldn't I use my left hand again?), something about the angle or my aching wrists made it extra complicated. I kept mixing up my hands and having to stop and translate moves in my head. It was bad. Anyway, I get the idea of hiding the sword behind the puny flying saucer (sorry, that's what those bucklers look like- if I ever have my own, I'm totally painting it up like a spaceship), but keeping the wrists together really threw me off when I was trying to figure out how where the heck my sword was supposed to go. And my footwork is abysmal I know, though at least this time I didn't get cited so much for having 'fairy feet'. Yay! I'm getting better! Or maybe Jake's just tired of pointing out how bad my footwork is. Tossup. On the up side, in free sparring, I actually scored points! And landed at least one shot that I knew why I got them!

As nearly as I can tell though, the buckler isn't to shield you so much as to swat the other guy's sword away so you can slice him up. I think it's supposed to protect your hand too, though not holding mine right got me my very first sword bruise! Probably it's weird to be excited about it, but I don't care. My first partner got in a good shot and I didn't move my buckler hand fast enough, and I got cracked across the thumb. It aches when I bend it now, and has a faint purplish tinge. Matched my shirt at least. I was supposed to strike back with a bunch of absetzens. It was at that point that I realized that all my practice made me pretty good at absetzens- when they're at doorknob height. I poked my poor partner in the belly more than a few times, when I was supposed to be aiming at his throat. Jake adjusted my stance and I guess it improved, though I was grumbling under my breath the whole time "They're just perfect at doorknob height, Professor!" My second bruise came with the sword and buckler too, with partner #3 this time. He caught me with a clean thrust to the chest. I've got a fair amount of padding there, but still ended up with a little purple welt that stands out great on my pale skin.

My first battle wounds! Lame ones maybe, but still. Can't wait for the next set.